Our New Security System

Last week we had a brand new security system installed. New locks with big metal bars and digital keypads on them, which make beeps and whirls when you hit a succession of numbers.

This morning when the teachers arrived at the school, there was a duck in my neighboring classroom. Other than the mess he had made by streaking his feces onto the floor in what must have been a Pollock inspired extravaganza, he had done little damage, and was instead sitting peacefully under a desk. In fact, he looked a lot like this duck:



Except, he was under a desk, so he looked like this:



As you can see he was very large.

Big duck or small duck, this does not bode well for the security system if some duck can wander into the school as if it were a port-o-potty at a highway rest stop. Although you might be thinking that he used his wings, all the windows were locked, so think again. In fact, think really hard. It might turn into one of those riddles like the one with the noose and the puddle of water, except no one's committing suicide, it's just a duck and a poorly secured building. Maybe you'll figure it out, maybe you won't, but at least you'll waste ten minutes of your life thinking about a duck sitting under a desk.