Unhandy Man

Here at the school, like most, we have an ajushi (older korean man) that is supposed to do all the handy work around the school. Ours, if he is not busy wandering around aimlessly, is wasting time and resources on some worthless project. When asked to install smoke detectors in the apartments, he placed them all right above the front burners on the stove. When asked to replace unfunctional lights, he is unreachable. When asked again to replace unfunctional lights, he is unreachable. When asked to hook up necessary items like washing machines, he's wandering around aimlessly...but somewhere else. He is an enigma of sorts.

Well, not really.

He has managed to fit some animal cruelty into his schedule. Recently, he bought a puppy, and has tied it up to a pile of trash. In his spare time, he comes out to beat it with a large stick. This is also the dog we have been dognapping, of course, for its own safety.

Luckily, since his maltreatment of the dog, he has found a new hobby: Spending a significant portion of the school budget (not big to begin with) on a DDT gun. Remember the 1950's commercials with picnics in beautiful clouds of DDT? Little Jimmy giving the thumbs up to the camera? Well, yeah, that's what it's like here now with Mr. Myung and his DDT gun. Except for little Jimmy, he died of cancer long ago. Here is a picture of the gun:



I imagine this is his final goal with the gun [see below]. Of course, Mike is playing the role of the six week old puppy.



I think the man's largest problem is that he doesn't understand the consequences of his actions. Such as beating the little puppy with a large stick. Nor, as a mechanical man, understand basic laws of diffusion. For some reason, he thought the best way to eliminate mosquitos in our staircase, which is constantly open to the outside, would be to pump the 5-level staircase full of toxic gases with his enormous gun. Of course, if you're thinking what i was thinking-- aka that mosquitos can FLY AWAY--this was a stupid idea. Not only did he nearly take out anyone (i.e. me) who for a moment attempted to use the staircase during the Great Gas-out of 2008, but he neglected to check whether anyones doors or windows were open before attempting this pointless and destructive non-solution. Instead of inconveniencing the mosquitos, another teacher's apartment--the harmless lady Stephanie--was pumped full of DDT. Just like the good old days. Then, as magically as he appeared, like some sort of retarded fairy, the old man vanished with his large gun shining into the night. A few hours later the mosquitos flew back into the staircase unphased.

Oh yeah, i forgot about his second largest problem: he's an asshole.